to do;

1. complete notes for chapters 18-19 by tomorrow's test at 3pm.
2. get an A on my History Vs. Hollywood midterm
3. buy stamps
4. get money to buy stamps
5. find time for a job
6. find time to get rid of my social life
7. become home schooled so i don't have to deal with daily reiterated idiocracy and fascists.
8. finish this book
9. never mind, i finished it.
10. write a play
11. act in the play
12. change my mind at the last minute and cast another person as my role
13. climb mount Everest
14. skydive
15. skydive before i climb mount Everest.
16. get a video camera and film.
17. tattoo Frida
18. Get Liana's name in her horrid handwriting somewhere
19. Lizzy's too.
20. mathematical equations leading up to my moms, graces and scarlets birthdays.
21. math in french
22. use my Rosetta stone.
23. go to sleep.
24. wake up at 5am
25. finish homework
26. be at class my 7:25
27. re-take EMT midterm
28. perhaps pursue a career in Mortuary studies as well as studying ancient cultures and their perceptions of death and dying. write a book about my findings after i travel the world, getting first hand observation and experiences with these rituals.
29. perhaps go to art school
30. fuck art school...there is no money in studio arts, no assured money... no concrete truths. And this scares me. This passion that i have yet the lacking of the carelessness or drive to take the risk.
31. end up taking art classes, dropping out and becoming a mortician as well as getting degrees in psychology, journalism, philosophy and sociology
32. find out how to kindly tell people to go away, with out loosing their love and trust. that is the meaning to life. making yourself happy, by making yourself and others happy at the same time.

no time

so, the time has come for me to redirect my attention from people and the lack there of, to people that are lacking of.
lately I've been yearning for an escape from one realm of diluted reasoning to the next. And so consequently, in all irony of the proper formed universe, i gain gain gain. full, overflowing much so much input and no time or will for output....rather, discarding.
i wish to discard social relationships and conversations. they are draining and the time i normally spend alone is filled with endless studies, ones i enjoy however leave no time for proper contemplation of my day.
days are blurry and sleep is slim.
i could hide under rocks and in the holes of abnormally large trees if only my future would allow me.