“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” 
― Albert Camus

These are possibly, hands down, the most beautiful songs ever made. Well some of them.

I became insane with long intervals of sanity

my entire day has been stressful and nerve wrecking and horrible and bad. upsetting and tiring and bad. bad. bad. but upon reading a letter Edgar Allen Poe sent someone about the death of his wife I simply feel better. Instead of reading how complete algorithms of mathematical equations that often feel distant and cold, i got to read of how he loved her ever so much. connecting various works of his to this letter i understood him all that much more. I wasn't looking for this piece of information it simply appeared and with that, i know that the universe has not forgotten my happiness. However sadistic it is of me to find pleasure int he passionate sorrows of another is a compassionately different story but it was so beautiful oh so beautiful.

I'm happy to know that his "I became insane with long intervals of sanity" was the work of a tragic love story.
His wife apparently died from singing.
How beautiful. How dreamy. How perfect.
to die as a canary.

let me eat you

I don't understand why but I am drawn to you. So much more than I've ever been to anyone in such a great long time.
i want to lick you until you don't exist anymore.

I want to consume you until you are apart of me, the skin that grows on my elbows, the hair on my head, the cavity in my tooth.

so excited for this

I'm not a democrat, I just believe that...

IN TERMS OF OUR CONFLICTS WITH LIBYA, CHINA, IRAN, AND NORTH KOREA....

You cannot be an economic super power and not find conflicts with other countries. 
The reason Greece is not currently in a war at the moment is because Greece has nothing to offer us than great food and beautiful landscapes and even then, they are dwindling with globalization. 

In order to have a strong leader, you must know and accept that global conflict is inevitable and therefore you must pick and choose your battles. I believe Barack Obama has done so. 
To allow the people of your own country to suffer for the sake of a problem beyond them and their homes, and their wallets, is selfish on your behalf. The archaic vision Romney has could be justifiable in the sense that yes, our economy is in a rut, but that is the natural state of all things. The only way to save our own economy is to improve the work force within our own lines. 
Romney makes business deals with china over cars and runs major corporations, that hitherto has left him out of touch with the reality of an every day American. 

Not only has he changed his views on issues that greatly affect me and those around me, he also is anti gay rights. Mind you, homosexuality had been found in 70%  of animal species other than human. Now you tell me what is not "natural". 

In a country that is born of immigrants, why on earth would you create laws to stop the flow of immigration. The unemployment rate is not on the backs of illegal immigrants from Mexico and Cuba  they are on the backs of those who are not paying taxes as US citizens. By depriving them of citizenship you are Putting America at a loss of millions of dollars of tax paying dollars you could be getting from their pay checks. 

I know things are not "that simple", but by completely ignoring those within your own country for the sake of war, you are driving us even deeper in debt. 
Not to mention that when Romney says, "I was born in Mexico", he leaves out the fact that he only lived in Mexico so his father could have multiple wives to fulfill his religious cult. 
Romney also likes to boast of his philanthropy when in actuality he is forced by the Mormon church to donate money. 

This is also money he has gained by  exploiting third world country workers, to make his products that further enhance harmful globalization that is crippling small economies around the world. 

In places like India, where major department stores are opening up like wall mart in their city markets, thousands of street vendors are losing money, placing them even further into poverty.  You could say that large companies and corporations enhance job opportunities  but being that they are not under the laws of the US government they can pay their workers next to nothing and get away with it. Also, these farmers and their families know nothing but what they have sold, and traded for hundreds of years. they live a legacy out dating back to their ancestors. They,  not having the proper schooling do not have the skill to work in corporate companies and unless these multi-billion dollar companies start enriching and enhancing the communities I will be against globalization entirely. You cannot enter these localized cultures uninvited. 

 In terms of what Obama has done for me, he has allowed someone I love very much the right to remain in this country. I know his views are sometimes based on this Utopian society, often unrealistic, but in order to reach a  state where things are mildly alright, you have to aspire beyond the common laws of statistical likelihoods.

Blah Blah Blah senior year Blah Blah Blah

This was my favorite Birthday party. I think I turned fifteen. Yes that's it, I turned fifteen. It was a very thoughtful birthday party. I don't remember much of who was there but from this photo I can see a few people I admire and some I'll never stop loving.

Reflecting on these last four years of high school I can say quite a bit, but not too much. Sometimes these social rants just rest on the edges of my tongue and I let them sit there, dissolve... until I don't have to say them anymore. I swallow them down with nice liquor and suck them in with nice pot. But that is rare. Usually i regurgitate them on to random pieces of paper scattered about my room. 

I was so sure of myself and what I wanted to do with my life at fifteen. I find it utterly hilarious how I could say that, but it's true, I really ,really did. I wanted to become a mortician.  It's amusing how I can contemplate the next 20 years of my life so easily right now, when I know that they will just have to unfold on their own. developing like the  Polaroids I used to carry around. 

I think it's nice that I'm lost and confused just like everyone else. I think it's nice that for once I don't know what to do. I'm swimming in it. swimming in my confusion. The salty sea of confusion. 

There are a lot of different hair styles in my life I can tell you that. Each one the embodiment of change and the inability to deal with consistency. 

But back to high school... 

I know it is not yet over, but i am nearing the end. Joyfully. Ready for change. 

I've encountered so many different forms of people from all walks of life. Some I know are assured to stay with me and some I know i won't see for a very long time. 

And I've had so much fun. 

And I've seen so many things. 

And I've done so much. 

And I've left so much. 

And I've got the photos to prove it. 

I know way to much about this film than I should.

California

This is a terrible photo of me.
But this girl is the love of my life.