This was my favorite Birthday party. I think I turned fifteen. Yes that's it, I turned fifteen. It was a very thoughtful birthday party. I don't remember much of who was there but from this photo I can see a few people I admire and some I'll never stop loving.
Reflecting on these last four years of high school I can say quite a bit, but not too much. Sometimes these social rants just rest on the edges of my tongue and I let them sit there, dissolve... until I don't have to say them anymore. I swallow them down with nice liquor and suck them in with nice pot. But that is rare. Usually i regurgitate them on to random pieces of paper scattered about my room.
I was so sure of myself and what I wanted to do with my life at fifteen. I find it utterly hilarious how I could say that, but it's true, I really ,really did. I wanted to become a mortician. It's amusing how I can contemplate the next 20 years of my life so easily right now, when I know that they will just have to unfold on their own. developing like the Polaroids I used to carry around.
I think it's nice that I'm lost and confused just like everyone else. I think it's nice that for once I don't know what to do. I'm swimming in it. swimming in my confusion. The salty sea of confusion.
There are a lot of different hair styles in my life I can tell you that. Each one the embodiment of change and the inability to deal with consistency.
But back to high school...
I know it is not yet over, but i am nearing the end. Joyfully. Ready for change.
I've encountered so many different forms of people from all walks of life. Some I know are assured to stay with me and some I know i won't see for a very long time.
And I've had so much fun.
And I've seen so many things.
And I've done so much.
And I've left so much.
And I've got the photos to prove it.
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